


Serendipity

by Loveislove87



Category: Roswell New Mexico (TV 2019)
Genre: AU, Angst, Fluff, M/M, meet cute
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-11
Updated: 2020-03-04
Packaged: 2021-02-25 16:00:21
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 7
Words: 7,232
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22218685
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Loveislove87/pseuds/Loveislove87
Summary: Alex has been having a hard time and he can't tell if the universe is being kind or cruel when he keeps bumping into the perfect man.
Relationships: Michael Guerin & Alex Manes, Michael Guerin/Alex Manes
Comments: 62
Kudos: 241





	1. Chapter 1

Alex had been standing in the same spot for too long, staring blankly at the cooler, completely overwhelmed by his options. Why the hell did there have to be so many choices?

This close to the holidays he should have known it would be a madhouse, but the customers being helped seemed to already know what they were doing, what they were looking for. Couldn’t these people recognize hopelessness personified?

With a sigh, Alex leaned forward, closing his eyes and resting his head on the chilly door. The last few months had been a turning point and not one he celebrated. He found himself sleeping less, unable to make simple decisions, no appetite one day, ravenous the next.

He figured if he ignored it long enough, the breakdown would just vanish, turn into tiny specks in the middle of the night and float away, taking his loneliness with it.

“Roses.”

Alex straightened up and cleared his throat. Jesus, had he dozed off for a second there?

“What?”

He blinked and rubbed his mouth with the back of his hand, horrified when it came back damp. He turned to the voice, now laughing slightly, and he lost all coherent thought.

A smiling man with curly hair and the most beautiful eyes Alex had ever seen was standing next to him. He wore sinfully tight jeans with a flannel button up. Alex couldn’t help the staring.

“I said roses,” the stranger advised with a slight drawl. “I dunno what you need flowers for, but roses are always a safe bet.”

Alex nodded, willing his voice to work. He glanced down and noticed a bouquet in the man’s hand. With a tilt of his head, he pointed out, “no roses for you though.”

Curls, the man’s instant nickname, lifted an eyebrow and glanced down at his hand. He laughed again, running his free hand through his hair, casually looking like a model. “The little lady isn’t a fan. Can’t say it bothers me much. Carnations are cheaper.”

Alex nodded once again, this time helpfully adding a small “ahh,” of understanding. Little lady. Well that was that.

“Can I, uh, be so bold as to ask what’s the occasion?”

“Oh, they’re for my friend’s mom. She’s been having a hard time, some medical stuff, so I wanted to get her something nice. Dinner tonight.”

Pulling his lip between his teeth, the most wicked act Alex had ever seen, the man started moving around the space humming quietly to himself.

Alex had never found someone so instantly attractive and alluring before. The guy was stunning, physically Alex’s type in absolutely every way, but he was charming, too, and clearly thoughtful.

“Ha! Here they are!” With a triumphant grin, the man handed Alex a beautiful bunch of some peculiar looking flowers; tall with multiple blooms on a stem. Some white, some variegated, some purple, others pink. The longer he looked, the more he began to think they were gorgeous.

“What are these?” he asked as he took a sniff.

“They don’t smell. Weird, right?” Alex smiled, surprised once again by this man, his personal knight in a ma and pop floral shop.

“They’re gladiolus. They symbolize strength and integrity.” He shrugged with a half-smile. “Thought they’d be appropriate.”

“That’s, um,” Alex cleared his throat, surprised by his own reaction. “That’s perfect. She’ll love them. Thank you for helping me, uh—”

“Michael.”

Michael offered his hand with another mega watt smile and Alex felt his knees go weak.

“Alex,” he answered, shaking Michael’s hand and resisting the urge to simply not let go.

“It was my pleasure but I’ve gotta head out.” He lifted the flowers in his hand with a look of apology. “See ya around, Alex.”

Michael turned and did a half jog out the door. Alex watched as he hopped into an old beater of a truck and drove away.

He puffed out a laugh and shook his head. If it weren’t for the unique flowers in his hand, he’d wonder if he’d just hallucinated the most perfect man in the world.

“Can I help you with anything, sir?”

Alex sighed, lifting the flowers to his nose again and chuckling to himself when they still had no fragrance.

“No, I’m all set.”


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The gym

Alex groaned as he plopped onto the bench, lifting his shirt to wipe the sweat out of his eyes. He scanned the gym, always wondering to himself who would choose a purple and yellow theme, then wondering who would agree with the person who chose a purple and yellow theme and actually paint it.

Despite its awful aesthetic, he liked this gym. Aside from the few weeks after the new year, it was always relatively quiet and the people who were around typically minded their business.

No one seemed interested in making small talk with the guy with the metal leg.

His years in the military had trained him to be a morning person and his therapist had encouraged him to create a routine, something to give his day structure and to help him feel accomplished. He liked the predictability of it all. Get up, walk the dog, have breakfast, go to the gym, take a shower, do some work, on and on.

Alex laid back on the bench, weights in his hands, as Fall Out Boy whined in his ears. As he pressed, he got lost in the small details around him, distracting himself from the fatigue in his arms. He was silently judging the gym owners once again as he noticed water stains across the ceiling when a familiar head of curls came suddenly into his vision.

“Hello!”

With a startle and a probably too loud “Jesus Christ,” Alex was grateful he didn’t drop the weights on his head. He sat up and put them on the ground, pulling his earbuds out.

“You scared the shit out of me.”

Michael laughed, genuine and kind, as he looked around the gym. “Yeah, I think the entire gym knows that. Well, all three of us here.”

Alex held his chest, heart racing from the scare and laughed in return. “What are you doing here?”

Michael gestured to his clothes and Alex swallowed back a comment about his too tight gym shorts. “I’m working out. What else do you do at a gym?”

Alex took a swig of his water and gestured to the rooms in the corner. “Tan?”

Michael laughed again; a sound Alex could definitely get used to. “No need for that. This is au natural. I work outside all day.”

Alex stood, stretching his hip. “What do you do?”

“I’m a mechanic for a man from the stone age. The garage is barely big enough for a car, so I usually do the work outside.”

“You talking about Sanders?” Alex asked as he put the weights back on the rack.

Michael smirked. “You know him?”

It was Alex’s turn to laugh. “He’s a Roswell legend. Good guy but hates everything new and modern.”

Michael nodded and asked, “what about you? What do you do?”

Alex realized that his leg had been visible the whole time and Michael didn’t seem to acknowledge it at all. Most people, even the kindest of them, couldn’t help but stare or watch him with pity clouding their expression.

Michael was nothing like that.

“Ex-military. I’m a computer programmer now.”

“Ahh, well thank you for your service, Private.”

Alex laughed. “Air Force, not Army. And it’s Captain, thank you very much.”

Michael raised an eyebrow in response and Alex felt the gesture slide from the back of his head south. He took another gulp of his water to collect himself.

“How’d your little lady like her flowers?”

Alex watched as Michael’s eyes practically became hearts. Jealousy tightened around his heart, but he shook it away and stayed focused.

“She loved them. She’s not very material, doesn’t like stuff, you know? But flowers? She becomes a big softy.”

Alex bit his lip and looked at a spot behind Michael’s head. “That’s nice.”

Michael gently shoved Alex’s shoulder, bringing his attention back to those shining eyes. “What about you? Friends mom, right?”

“Yeah. She loved them. Mimi’s got dementia so whenever she looked away from the bouquet, she’d forget they were there so, when she’d turn back, it was like she was getting them brand new all over again. It’s sad, really, but it was kind of nice to see her smile so much.”

“I’m glad she liked them. Though the situation sucks.”

Alex nodded in agreement. He glanced down at his watch and felt a small pull of anxiety. He wanted to maintain his routine knowing sometimes even a small upset could throw his day off, but he was reluctant to leave Michael again.

Just being in his presence felt good.

“Well, I didn’t mean to interrupt you. Nice surprise bumping into you again. Maybe it’ll happen more often.”

He gave a wink and walked away, Alex watching his ass move in the shorts that should be illegal.

With a sigh, Alex picked up his bottle and headed to the exit. Michael was getting under his skin and he had no idea how to feel about it.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The hardware store

On a typical day, Alex loved his cabin. It was secluded enough that he didn’t have to worry about guests stopping over uninvited or nicely dressed folks asking about his relationship with Jesus. It felt homey, well-lived in. He felt safe. After really awful days and even worse nights, the wood walls and loud radiators wrapped him in a blanket of comfort.

Today, however, he was ready to sell the fucking thing and never look back.

It wasn’t that he hadn’t thought about the fact that the cabin was old and would eventually need some fixing up. He just hadn’t thought it would all happen at the same damn time.

This morning he was fighting a losing battle with the one toilet in his house. After a never-ending set of Google searches, he believed he discovered the problem and was determined not to call a plumber. Grabbing his keys, he checked for his wallet and phone before getting into his Jeep and heading into town.

******

“It doesn’t sound like that’s the problem, son.”

Alex rolled his eyes and dug his fingernails into his palm. This man who had offered to help him find a toilet ring had been hypothesizing his bathroom problems without ever actually pointing him toward the product he knew he needed.

With a deep breath, Alex quietly said, again, “I’m sure it is. I think I can find the ring on my own but thank you for your help.”

“My pleasure but I really think it’s more than that. My cousin’s toilet—”

“Oh, hey Alex! Sorry, sir, but I’m gonna have to steal him.”

Michael had turned the corner, apparently saw Alex turning the color of a tomato and decided to be Alex’s savior yet again. He gave the older gentleman a smile and wink while he slid his warm hand onto Alex’s arm, guiding him into another section of the tiny hardware store.

“Holy shit, thank you.” Alex wiped a hand down his face, physically trying to shake the tension away. “I had no idea how to get out of that.”

Michael laughed and walked past Alex, patting him on the shoulder as he went. With practically no effort, Michael found the stupid ring and passed it to Alex with a smirk. “For you.”

Alex flipped the box, making sure it was the right size, and sighed with relief when he found it was. “My plumbing hero.”

“Having some potty troubles?”

Alex huffed out a laugh and nodded. “Yeah. Plumbing is not exactly my expertise but I’m not paying a hundred bucks an hour for some rando to do something I can do for fifteen.”

“Fair enough,” Michael quipped with a raise of his eyebrow.

Alex couldn’t help but think how unfair it was that Michael looked as spectacular as he did at 9am on a Sunday. Again, with the dangerously tight jeans but this time paired with an equally tight grey t-shirt. Alex noticed the muscles in his arms, veins visible and pulsing. There was the slightest bit of chest hair rising from the neckline of his shirt and Alex was thinking about that stubble against his skin when-

“Well I’ve gotta go. More errands to run. _Day of rest_ my ass.”

Alex looked at his feet, embarrassed by his wandering thoughts. When he looked up, though, he found those kind eyes and thoughtful smile greeting him.

Feeling like a slob in his sweats and baseball cap holding a toilet part, he thought that would be the best time to go balls to the wall.

“Do you wanna get lunch sometime or something?”

He hadn’t meant for his voice to come out in such a whisper or for his proposition to sound more like a date than a friendly hangout, but it was too late, the invitation dangling awkwardly between them.

Michael’s silence mixed with the slight part of his mouth was answer enough. Alex wasn’t sure he’d ever been so horrified.

He cleared his throat, unconsciously hugging the toilet ring to his chest. Before he could speak, Michael’s phone rang and, when he checked the caller, a soft smile crossed his face, stomping on any hope Alex had that he stood a chance.

“I’m sorry but I have to take this.”

Alex nodded and tried on a smile he hoped looked genuine. “Okay. Thanks for this,” he said, lifting the box a bit.

As he checked out and climbed into his car and drove back to his cabin, Alex verbally berated himself. He knew Michael had someone at home; he knew he didn’t have a chance. What the hell was he thinking?

Some days he thought of Michael and, the possibility of bumping into him gave him a reason to smile. Imagining Michael brought a warmth to his chest and a tingle to the back of his throat. He liked seeing him, liked talking with him.

Now he fucked it up.

He tossed the plastic bag on the table, registering it sliding across the surface and landing on the floor, and headed into his bedroom. The blinds were pulled tight and the blankets were a few layers thick. He climbed in and closed his eyes.

He’d worry about it all later.


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The coffee shop

It had set him back a bit.

Alex looked at himself in the mirror, critiquing every little detail. The scar over his eyebrow. The blemish forming on his jaw line. His hair never staying where he combed it.

He shook his head and bent down, splashing some water on his face.

It was such a stupid thing, no one’s fault. Michael was unavailable, maybe not even into men. Alex had tried, put himself out there, and had failed. Horribly. But it was done. He needed to accept it and move on.

Only, it had been a few days since Alex had left the cabin. And the sole reason he’d gotten out of bed was to fix the damn toilet, an agonizing task that left him screaming into the loneliness of his cabin one minute and sobbing into his hands the next.

His therapist always warned him about time alone. Alex heard her voice in his head, reminding him that self-care was important and an absolute necessity, but when it mutated into hiding, he needed to get out.

He met his gaze in the mirror once again and sighed.

Time to get out.

******

Despite his days as the emo kid in high school, Alex would definitely call himself boring now. He was a simple guy who liked simple things, much preferring the peace life could offer over the excitement and unpredictability.

There was a small coffee place in town that Alex always liked. Their drinks were good, albeit too expensive, and it was quiet. Sometimes there were a few people sitting in the oversize chairs and plush couches, but they tended to be reading or on a laptop or chatting quietly.

After getting his americano from a tiny girl with chipped black nail polish and green hair, Alex found an open seat in the corner and plopped down. He had a nice view of the street, watching people move here and there. His military training had taught him to keep an eye on the details, so he noticed silly things like brands of purses or shoes untied, not really paying attention to faces.

Which, in retrospect, Alex realized was a mistake.

A soft, “hey,” caught his attention. As he looked away from the large window to find an awkward Michael in front of him, looking at gorgeous as ever although a bit less relaxed than usual.

Straightening up in his seat, Alex gripped his cup tighter and said, “hi.”

Michael shifted his weight and Alex noticed his ridiculous cowboy boots. If anyone could pull them off, though, it’d be Michael.

“I, uh, I saw you sitting here when I was walking by, so I thought I’d stop in. We haven’t bumped into each other in like a week,” Michael laughed. “Wanted to make sure you were okay.”

Alex tried to laugh but he couldn’t seem to make the sound. He contorted his mouth into what he hoped was a smile, but based off Michael’s reaction, it wasn’t even close.

“Look, Alex, the other day…”

“I have to go.”

Alex stood abruptly, hip popping in protest. He winced and braced himself against the wall, a few drops of coffee splashing onto the floor.

“Whoa, are you okay?”

“I’m fine!” Alex gritted out with far more force than he intended. Michael looked hurt, taken aback by Alex’s tone, but that was something Alex didn’t have the energy to apologize for.

“I have to go.” Alex leaned slightly, testing his leg to make sure it wouldn’t give out on him. He must have been sitting in the same position longer than he thought.

“Let me walk with you.”

Pausing to take his fill of the man he barely knew but wanted so much to be near all the time, Alex shook his head. “No thanks. I’m alright.”

Michael bit his lip and nodded, backing up a little to give Alex space to leave.

He felt like a total mess, a black hole that just had to pull everyone else into his darkness. Michael was safer if he wasn’t too close.

“See ya around, Michael.”

He didn’t bother looking back.


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The library

“You’re hibernating?”

Alex rolled his eyes and sat up a bit higher in bed. He loved Liz, he really did, but he hated how, even through the inconsistent signal of a cell phone, she could read him like a book.

“I’m not hibernating. I went out earlier in the week. It just, didn’t go well.” He couldn’t help the slight dip in his voice, the embarrassment and regret returning with a vengeance.

“You okay?”

“Yeah. Just not feeling my best.”

“So, you got turned down. It happens. Don’t let it keep you from trying again, kid.”

Alex laughed. “Yeah. He was damn near perfect, though.” Alex smiled despite the pit of disappointment still lingering in his gut.

“I demand you get up, right now, take a long, hot shower, put on a nice outfit and go to your favorite spot in the world.”

Alex huffed, “don’t tell me what to do.”

Liz’s infectious laughter rolled down the line to him. He shook his head and bit his lip. “I haven’t gone in a while, you know. Not the same without my partner-in-nerd.”

“Aww, you mush ball. I miss you, too. Now go, do what I said. And I demand photographic evidence of your endeavor!”

“Yes, ma’am.”

“I love you, Alex. Don’t forget that.”

He swallowed past the lump in his throat, blinking quickly to keep the tears at bay. “I love you.”

He hung up and sighed, taking a few minutes to let the blankets swallow him back up. Closing his eyes, Alex pictured what it’d be like waking up to a partner every day. Feeling an arm pulling him in tight, the warmth of a body stretched along his back, the gentle puffs of air against his neck, maybe an accompanying snore.

Alex opened his eyes and took in his bedroom. He liked it but it was devoid of anything. He’d put a lot of money into the bed, wanting to make it as comfortable and relaxing as possible. And the bathroom, of course, had been a fucking nightmare to make accessible, but there were no pictures, no colors.

No real Alex.

His phone beeped, pulling him from his roaming thoughts.

_Liz: Get outta that bed, Manes_

_Liz: And do something today you’ve always wanted to do. Just fucking do it!!!!_

Alex laughed and put his phone on the bedside table. Something he always wanted to do. What the hell was that?

*******

A few hours later found Alex showered, shaved, wearing a clean set of clothes and standing with a small smile on his face in his favorite place.

The library.

He was always an avid reader, preferring fantasy and romance, the occasional biography catching his eye. But, honestly, if it was paper with words printed on it, he’d give it a try.

There was something about this place; something that felt antique and special. He loved the eclectic group of people one would find on any given day. The smell, somewhere between nostalgia and stale, that was so distinct to this building. The volunteers were always too kind, offering to help however they could.

It was just perfect.

He moved slowly through the stacks, fingers moving along the spines, catching some titles as he drifted by.

Eventually he reached his destination. Liz’s text had made him really stop and think. What did he actually want?

The answer was shockingly clear and incredibly simple.

A dog.

So, he brought himself to the library to do a little old-fashioned research on breeds, foods, what purchases needed to be made, what to look for in a veterinarian, all the good stuff.

He bit his lip at the surprising number of books on dogs when a sweet little voice tapped his ear.

“Excuse me.”

Alex looked down and found a beautiful little girl, maybe five or six, with long, curly blonde hair and a smile you could see from space.

He couldn’t help but smile back.

“Yes.”

“Do you have a doggie?”

Alex shook his head. “No but I want one. Do you?”

The little girl pouted a bit and shook her head dramatically. “No. Mommy says they’re too messy. And they smell. I told her I’d take care of it, but she still said no.”

Alex chuckled and subtly looked around for an adult.

“What kind of doggie do you wanna get?”

She had tucked her arms behind her back and was swinging from side to side. Alex couldn’t help but thaw at the cuteness this kid radiated.

He shrugged and said, “not sure. That’s why I’m looking. Any recommendations?”

“A beagle! They’re the best!”

Laughing, he asked, “oh, really? Why’s that?”

“They’re so cute! They’re not too big and they have cute noses and—”

“Will! Lord, I had a heart attack, babe. You can’t run off like—”

Alex stood with his mouth open and Michael soon mirrored him.

“Sorry, Uncle Mikey. We were talking about doggies.” The little girl moved closer to Michael, tucking her arms around his leg as his hand came up to her hair and pet it gently.

Uncle Mikey. Mother fucker Alex was an idiot.

“It’s okay, baby. You just gotta be careful. No talking to strangers, right?”

“But we aren’t strangers! Um, what’s your name?”

Alex cleared his throat, visibly shaking his head to bring himself back to reality. “Alex.”

“Alex! Alex is gonna get a beagle!”

Michael peered through his lashes and Alex thought he might faint. “Really? Why do I feel like you may have pressured him into that decision, Miss. Willow?”

She laughed and held onto his hand. In a way that only kids could, she quickly switched the subject by announcing, “I’m hungry.”

Michael smiled and picked her up. “Crashdown for lunch, kid?”

She nodded enthusiastically. “Alex should come, too!”

He felt the color leave his face as he backed away. “Oh no, that’s okay. I don’t want to intrude.”

“It wouldn’t be intruding, Alex.” The serious look on Michael’s face caught Alex by surprise.

“No, really. You’re spending time with your niece.”

He turned away but was stopped by that large, warm hand squeezing his wrist.

“Seriously, Alex. Come have lunch with us.” He gave a half smile that had Alex’s blood flooding his face just as quickly as it had drained. “With me.”

He looked at Willow who was nodding enthusiastically and back to Michael who still had that sexy smile on and found himself agreeing.

“Yeah. Okay.”


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Pony

Lunch at the Crashdown had been nice.

Willow was amazing, talkative and outgoing. She was definitely the most opinionated kid he’d ever met. But she’d carried the conversation which meant it didn’t go much outside the realm of dogs and cartoons Alex was far too old to know.

He left the day before feeling unsure, slightly off balance. It had been great spending time with Michael, in any capacity, and knowing that he wasn’t uncomfortable with Alex after he’d embarrassed himself something awful was reassuring. It just wasn’t quite what he was hoping for.

He’d spent most of the day so far in bed, oscillating between staring blankly at the ceiling, occasionally debating changing the fan out for a newer model, and fitful sleep.

When the clock ticked over to 6pm, he knew he was wading in the pool of the pathetic.

“Get up, Manes.”

His muscles refused to move.

“Get up. Now.”

With a grunt and a groan, he threw the covers off himself and hopped to the shower, turning it up as hot as his skin could tolerate. After toweling off and fluffing his hair just to have it fall exactly as it wanted to, he stood in front of his closet, shaking his head.

Flannel, flannel and, oh wow, more flannel.

He pushed the shirts, one after another, down the line, cursing himself for being so horribly boring. Eventually, his hand landed on a soft, black button up. He slid it on and did a little modeling in front of his mirror. He couldn’t remember the last time he’d worn it, black with a bit of a shine to it, but he’d definitely bulked up since then, the material stretching over his arms and chest.

Alex couldn’t help but smile. He was handsome, dammit, and if Guerin didn’t see that then it was his loss.

With one more look in the mirror once the final outfit was assembled, Alex grabbed his wallet and his phone and headed to the Pony.

******

Apparently, Alex had chosen macho man night at the bar.

He sat quietly at the bar, sipping his drink, with the sweet sounds of breaking glass and f-bombs setting the mood. He was used to the Pony and its sometimes questionable customers, but he figured he’d be safe from the bullshit on a Thursday night.

“I hope you brought your shiv with you.”

Startled, Alex was surprised to find Guerin, standard white t-shirt and jeans, looking like a wet fucking dream in the middle of a dive bar in nowhere land.

“What are you doing here?”

Michael sat down and ordered a beer, smiling in thanks to the bartender. “Just passing by and thought I’d check it out.”

Alex nodded before freezing, chin slightly raised.

“Passing by?”

“Yep.”

Alex watched Michael’s features closely. He saw nothing but casual confidence there but, maybe, it was hiding something else.

“This is in the wrong direction.”

Michael kept his eyes on his drink and, after a slight pause, asked, “what?”

Alex turned fully in his seat. “This place isn’t near anything else. You wouldn’t be passing it unless you were leaving town or coming in.”

With a laugh, Michael drank again. “So what? Poor choice of words, I guess. You’re so literal, Private.”

A wave of courage sang from Alex’s toes to his mouth. Enough was enough.

“I’ve been into you since the moment we met, Guerin.”

Michael’s gaze shifted to meet Alex’s. He looked taken aback, eyes rapidly searching Alex’s while his mouth hung slightly open.

“I’ve been thinking for weeks now that the universe is either a fucking legend or a complete asshole for making me bump into you over and over again. At least I got to see you, but I was constantly reminded that you were unattainable. That you didn’t want me.”

He stood, tossing a twenty down for his half full drink. “But now I’m wondering if I’ve been an idiot for a different reason.”

Leaning into Michael’s space, Alex refused to break eye contact, desperate to see his reaction. “Were we just serendipitously bumping into each other, Guerin, or was one of us making it happen?”

Michael’s mouth moved, jaw working but vocal cords paralyzed. He cleared his throat but again, Alex got nothing.

With a scoff, Alex stood straight and shook his head, hot, angry tears threatening to fall.

“I have been lonely for so long, Michael. I’ve been afraid and sad and feeling fucking pathetic for so long and then you came along and, and I had something to look forward to. Something to hope for, even if it was something as ridiculous as randomly bumping into the beautiful stranger I just met.”

His chest was heaving while his pulse pounded in his ears. Michael kept his eyes lowered, spinning his drink mindlessly in his hands.

Suddenly Alex just felt tired. Quietly, he asked, “why didn’t you tell me?”

With no response, Alex took that as his cue to leave, to accept this bizarre situation for what it was and move on. All this time he’d thought he was the weird one, searching for his stranger among the crowds, hoping to run into him just once more.

But Michael had been setting it up all along.

His breath rattled in his chest as he headed for the door, shaking hands struggling to get his keys out of his pocket.

He was steps from the Jeep when he heard, “I was terrified!”

Alex stopped with his hand halfway to the car door. His brain was telling him this guy was an unpredictable mess he didn’t need, but his heart kept reminding him, who wasn’t? Focusing on a smudge of mud across the gray paint kept Alex from turning, inevitably falling into those hazel eyes.

“Can I try to explain?” Alex bit his lip, feeling Michael’s heat against his back. When he felt the pressure of Michael’s head resting in the hard space between his shoulder blades, Alex had to reach out to his car for support, legs turning to jelly and air impossibly hard to come by. “Please let me explain,” Michael whispered.

Alex swallowed, overwhelmed and so unsure. A weak, “okay,” was all he could offer.

Michael shifted his weight, moving even further into Alex’s space and resting his cheek against his shoulder. Alex could feel him burrowing, cuddling closer, something akin to a kitten. He held his breath and waited.

“I have been a disaster for years, Alex. Before I came here, I managed to blow a full ride to college. I always wanted to be an engineer. I’ve been obsessed with space since I was a kid floating around from foster home to foster home.” He sighed and Alex could hear his tears stick in his throat. “But I finally got out and I-I drank too much and slept around, ended up sleeping in my truck more times than I can count. Picked up an odd job here and there but I was just…lost.”

Alex felt the anger in his chest start to melt, replaced by curiosity with a hint of forgiveness. He reached behind himself and found Michael’s hands, bringing them around his waist and interlocking their fingers.

He did Michael the curtesy of not acknowledging the small cry he heard escape.

“Uh, anyway,” Michael sniffed and tightened his hold around Alex’s center. “Isobel called me one day. We hadn’t really talked in a while, another thing I had messed up. But she was a having a really hard time and, if Isobel admits she’s having a hard time, it’s a really hard fucking time.” He released a small puff of air, what should have been a laugh, and seemed to get lost in memories for a minute. Alex didn’t rush him, didn’t want to interrupt what Michael was working through.

He could wait.

“It turns out her husband was a worthless piece of shit. He’d been manipulative and lied about so much. And she had Willow, you know? She was trying to be the best mom she could be and help Will cope ‘cause Noah just vanished. But she just, she needed to grieve too, you know? And she couldn’t. So, she called me.”

If there was anything Alex could relate to it was someone betraying you when they were supposed to love you.

He moved his hands up Michael’s arm, gently tugging him to stand in front of Alex, leaning him gently against the Jeep. Alex took his hands in his own, rubbing circles where his fingers rested and keeping his eyes squarely on his work.

“I came here to do a job, Alex. To be a brother and an uncle. To step up. For the first time in, I dunno, forever, I was doing the right thing. And I was doing it well.” Michael pulled one of his hands out of Alex’s grip and moved it slowly under his chin, lifting Alex’s face to his. “And then I saw you.”

Alex bit back the smile he felt trying to play across his mouth. “At the flower shop?”

Michael smiled and nodded. “You were so lost. You were looking at the same bouquets for at least fifteen minutes.”

“It was not that long,” Alex scoffed.

Michael’s hand shifted to Alex’s cheek. “It was, ‘cause I was staring at you like a stalker the entire time.” Quietly, he added, “I’d never seen someone so beautiful before.”

Disappointment tugged at him as Alex covered Michael’s hand and lowered it from his face. Michael’s smile faded and his gaze dropped to his boots.

“If you were interested why didn’t you say something? Why did you turn me down?”

“Because being with you would have been selfish! I’m not here for me, Alex. I’m here for them. For the two best girls in the world, and I wanna make sure I’m doing everything I can to help. However they’ll let me.”

Alex nodded, swallowing his tears and taking a step back. But Michael’s hand took hold of his wrist, keeping him close.

“Alex, I _had_ to keep seeing you. After that first day, I kept noticing you around town and I felt this pull, like I was supposed to be near you. But then I felt this guilt that I was only thinking of myself again and not my family.” He moved a hand through his curls in frustration and turned away from Alex. He lightly kicked the wheel, then idly started wiping at some dirt on the hood. “I convinced myself that if we just kept _bumping_ into each other I wasn’t doing anything wrong. And then you asked me out and my brain completely malfunctioned. It was everything I’d hoped for and exactly what I was worried would happen. I just—”

“Shut up for a second.”

Michael spun around, mouth hanging open in surprise. Alex rubbed his eyes and exhaled.

“Look, I barely know Willow and I don’t know Isobel at all. Hell, _we_ barely know each other. But nowhere in your story have you said that your sister expected you to remain single. That she felt like you weren’t being supportive if you dated.”

“It’s more than that.”

A light switched on. “Oh. Are you not out?”

Michael looked at Alex sheepishly through his lashes and Alex wanted to both smack him and hold him.

“I’m out. Iz knows I’m bi.”

Alex nodded, slightly confused. “Okay.”

“I’ve slept with men, Alex. I’ve never dated a man before. Been in a relationship with a man.”

Sighing, Alex stepped forward. He pushed his hands into those wild curls, an act he’d been dreaming of for weeks. He wasn’t disappointed. They were exactly as soft as he knew they’d be.

“You’ve got baggage.”

Michael nodded with eyes closed against the feeling of Alex’s nails scratching against his scalp.

“I do too, Michael. Relationships aren’t simple, at least not in my limited experience. But I just heard everything you’ve said, and I still wanna know more.”

Michael opened his eyes, hesitation causing his features to tense. “Really?”

Alex nodded. “Yeah.” He held out his hand and smiled. “Come on. Come have a drink with me.”

With a deep breath, Michael smiled and took Alex’s outstretched hand, squeezing tight. “So what’s this then? Our first date?”

Confidently, Alex smiled and looked straight ahead.

“It’s the beginning.”


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The cabin

Alex accidentally bit so low on his fingernail he bled. He cursed in the quiet of his house, Buffy lifting her head at the noise but putting it right back down again with indifference.

He’d been sitting, silent and almost completely still, for the past hour or so, stuck in his own head.

Over the past few weeks, Alex had found it was possible to fall even more head over heels for the cowboy with the curls. Michael was brilliant, frighteningly so, but painfully humble. He was dedicated to his family and wore it like a badge of honor. He was also a nerd, willing to dive into the world of Star Wars wearing Alex’s pajamas, talking with a mouthful of popcorn and demanding Buffy’s snuggles.

But Alex had ruined it.

After a particularly grueling therapy session, he came home to the solace that was his cabin to find Michael, all smiles and bare feet, cooking in the kitchen. Had it been a different day, the feeling in Alex’s gut wouldn’t have been the pit of dread with a swirl of anger. He was sure, now that he sat alone in his own sadness, that he would have been surprised, maybe a bit overwhelmed, but happy. Grateful.

But seeing Michael after an hour chock full of Jesse Manes talk, Alex wasn’t ready, hadn’t been prepared for anyone, especially Michael, to see him so vulnerable. Quickly, Michael had realized his misstep and tried everything he could to make Alex more comfortable, to apologize, but everything he said and did had made Alex’s skin feel tighter, the air heavier. When Michael had put his hand on the back of his neck, that had been it. Alex had turned with fire in his eyes and resentment in his voice, demanding Michael get out of his house.

As he’d sat in the shower, Buffy’s whimpers muffled by the wood of the door, he stared at the wall and blinked through the water, picturing Michael’s face. He’d looked horrified. And Alex did that. This was officially his longest relationship and he was ripping it apart, watching it splinter into jagged pieces while he sat crying in the shower. Alone and fucking miserable.

He was pulled from his thoughts by a light knock on the door. Buffy was up and barking as Alex’s heart jumped to his throat. Michael stood on the other side of the screen door, lit from behind by the setting sun. He held his hat against his stomach and stared at his feet, missing the relieved smile Alex wore.

Michael cleared his throat. “I, uh, had to come back and apologize.”

Alex shook his head, but Michael didn’t see, eyes glued to his boots. “I shouldn’t have just shown up. I don’t know what I was thinking. I didn’t mean to make you so upset.”

The door squeaked as Alex pushed it open, Buffy bounding out to paw at Michael’s legs. “I want to explain, if I can. Come in, okay?”

Michael nodded, giving Buffy a quick pat to the head and crossing the threshold.

Alex watched as Michael stood awkwardly in the living space, still gripping his hat like a lifeline. His chest hurt staring at the man who had been so comfortable, so at ease in the house the last few days. Michael belonged in the cabin. It suited him and he made it brighter. It felt like home with Michael here.

Not wanting to waste another minute on niceties, Alex moved quickly, pushing his fingers through Michael’s hair and tilting his head so they looked one another in the eye. Michael’s look of surprise made Alex smile.

“I had therapy today. You knew that.” Michael nodded, eyes locked on Alex’s. “I know what you were doing. You’re a romantic sap and it’s one of the many things I love about you.” Michael blushed with a small laugh and looked away, but Alex slipped a finger under his chin to bring his attention back. “We talked about shit today that makes me sick, Michael. I wasn’t expecting you here and I’m honestly not used to sharing any of that part of my life with anyone else.”

Michael nodded as his eyes lost a bit of their sparkle. “I need space when I’m upset, Michael. But, when I’m ready, I’ll come back.”

With a sigh, Michael closed his eyes. “I grew up in foster care.” Alex nodded. It was one of the things Michael had shared pretty quickly in their relationship. “It blew, in so many ways. But I was only ever touched when I did something wrong. Grab my wrist, smack me. Worse.”

Alex sucked in a shaky breath. The idea of anyone ever hurting Michael made him want to sob while burning down the world.

“Anyway, I think it’s cause of that shit that I love to, uh, be touched. I like affection. I’m sure you noticed,” he said with a dry laugh. Alex smiled, images of Michael curled up next to him on the couch, feet tangled with his under the table, pinkies intertwined, assaulting him. “When I’m upset, I want to be held. Touched. I assumed everyone wanted that.”

The pieces came together, and Alex nodded in understanding. He wrapped his arms around Michael and pulled him in, chest to chest. “I’m glad you came back.”

Michael smiled and rested his head against Alex’s. “I’ll always come back.”

They stood, swaying to the sounds of the woods and Buffy’s soft breaths, dopey smiles spread across their faces. “You know you said the L word, Private?”

Alex leaned back with an eyebrow raised. “I did no such thing.”

“Lies,” Michael tickled Alex’s side. “You said _one of the things you love about me_.”

Alex smirked. “Caught that, huh?”

Michael kissed him, soft lips with the gentle slide of his tongue. Alex melted into his arms and happily let the tension from earlier slip away. When they separated, Alex held tight to Michael’s shirt, not wanting him to get too far.

“I’m so in love with you, Michael.”

The smile he got in return lit the space with its warmth. “God, Alex. I love you, too.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading!!

**Author's Note:**

> Another WIP, I know and I'm sorry! But thank you for reading!
> 
> Come say hi on tumblr @captainsassmanes


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